mellow meeeeeee...

Time

2010-03-17T23:14:00.001-07:00

Why do I feel like I'm forever neglected? I mean it's a never ending cycle. The ones you love you want to get the most time & energy from. So why is it that I feel like i'm being stabbed in the side and that everyday the knife goes deeper & deeper? All I know is that I need more time...I learned in class what psychosexual meant..I mean knew what it meant already but my teacher broke it down in a different way. Psycho is the brain & sexual is the body. The body tells the brain what it wants & the brain acts on that impulse. Sexual doesn't necessarily mean sex, it means: attention, affection, & love... If your not getting any of these three things from a significant other then you should drop the relationship says my Professor. And that includes any relationship. I Iearned that recently I have been so busy and in my own life that I have failed to take the time to figure out what makes me lust for life. It upsets me somedays to know that the un-obtainable can be obtained but sometimes I wonder if the feeling is mutual? To know someone truly misses me and loves me makes me feel so happy. To know that I crossed your mind just for a second gives me butterflies, but if I'm not told, how exactly do I find out? Love is a strong word. Today my Professor told me that because I have come from a home with no father, & because I have a mother with such a sever mental illness that I will automatically have issues in my relationships. The fact that arguments can be my fault is something I was missing as a child & trying to fill a void. Anyway my point is that time is not on my side. Love is everlasting but how do I incorporate the two so I can be truly happy; mind & body. Oh how I wish...and pray that something happens soon...oh how I wish I didn't take time for granted when you were by side and how I regret falling so deeply and being punished for this longing. Why is it so hard for me to accept how things are, & deal? :( why is it so easy for you? :-/ ( what should I do?!)

Oh, Time... stop neglecting me.... :-/

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sorry...

2010-03-13T14:19:00.000-08:00

I know I have been gone for entirely too long BUT I shall be back soon... :)

since your on here: follow me on twitter: loyalbeauti89

if you don't follow me your a fuckface COCK master

& no this is not a desperate plea; BECAUSE I could give two FUCKS! k, byeeee

I really have no clue what I want to do...

2010-01-26T19:09:00.000-08:00

Before I began typing I told myself I wouldn't write a sad soppy blog. I told myself that it would just be a brief overview of how I've been feeling lately but its been so many different emotions IDK how to venture into all of them. So with that said I will talk to you what has been heavy on my mind. Well SCHOOL is #1, for some reason I don't know what I want to do, I just know I want to be DONE! Uhhh, for those of you who don't know me well I attended the University of California, Merced. Which is a UC as big as schools get! So I completed 2 years, it was a struggle, but I made it and in the midst of it all I decide to take a year off to deal with a family issue and clear my head. I actually have been doing pretty well in Los Angeles, I'm @ a local community college excelling and working. But I know I can't stay at a CC forever. I looked at my journey from high school to college and I have found that I have come an extremely long way. And I even looked at how unhappy I was in Merced and how I felt alone all the time and like I was missing out on the essential college atmosphere and I really shake my head...like what was I thinking? Sometimes you just got to swallow your pride and just endure, but my selfishness lead me to where I am right now. And that's with one of the hardest decisions I ever have to make. Do I step back and attend a Cal State or go back to a school that I was unhappy at but will gain so much more from...I mean a new school, a new legacy, and more one on one attention with professors, but the town...ehh its so damn boring. I guess that gives you more time to study but sometimes it gets extremely hard to study...On the inside my heart is telling me to return to UCM but my mind is saying be realistic and go somewhere close to home that has a broader horizon and more of the "campus life" I've been longing for...I shall talk to counselors from both UCM and whatever Cal State I decide on and go from there. Being home has also made me miss all my friends at UCM which also sucks, I get really sad and crawl up in a ball sometimes because it gets that hard for me sometimes. But all in all what do you, blogger world think I should do? Hmm..just think about it this way, go back to an institution that can possibly get me a better job when I graduate UCM, or go to a brand new atmosphere with a "real college experience" that may be slightly easier and possibly make me happier? idk until next time my fellow bloggers, feel free to comment! :) thnks!

opening up...

2010-01-19T23:15:00.000-08:00

for a very long time I have realized that I have come off as a mystery...some people don't know who I am and where I have come from...why I act the way i do, or even how FAR I have come. I feel like I have COME very far. The person I am today could have been someone totally different, but I opted to seek help, and guidance. Here is where I have come from...

I am Kiyanna Shakelle Matthews. I was born May 5th, 1989 in Los Angeles, CA. My mother Cynthia Matthews was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia when she was about 19 years old. She has struggled with this disease all her life, and currently still is. My father Herman Matthews was never in my life, he always in and out, and growing up my mom and dad were married but did not live together, he had a girlfriend and my mother had a boyfriend. As a child, I know my mother struggled because she could never really land on her feet. My grandfather, (my mothers father) George owned an apartment complex and we lived above my grandpa I do not remember much about my childhood there. My first years of life were spent there though, and I can say those were some of my best memories (from what I can remember), being close to my grandpa made me happy, I love him dearly. I remember my cousin Christopher lived down the street and we played with each other all the time. My mom's boyfriend Tony ( my younger brothers Father) used to buy me gummy bears all the time, but also remember him being abusive to my mother, and to my older brother & sister. My mothers mental state was always up and down. She had the tendency to always complain about money and that people were after to her but it was not as bad as it is now. My mother was always alone, she never had any friends, she cursed ALOT, (actually till this day she still curses me out...LOL) but hey thats my mom. My mom was the only person who took care of me and provided for me but we always struggled. When we moved to the valley we struggled even more. We didn't have money a lot of the time, and sometimes I would go hungry. Her mental state got worse and she would instill in me very scary and serious scenarios that I knew weren't true but at the same time at my age were confused about. My mom would place bricks, large sticks, and whatever else behind our front door to keep what she called the "enemies" out of the house. She would smack the walls because she believed the walls were bugged. My mom was very loud and since she was "not all their" mentally she would argue with neighbors of ours, and complete strangers. When I was in elementary school I would be embarrassed to be dropped off by my mom because she would yell and scream at me reminding me of things, and my friends parents would look at me strange. When my little brother was born, he was wild and very bad because my mother didn't really teach him much. When he was three years old, he ran out of the house and jumped into the pool and started to drown and my mom had to jump in and save him. That was the first time I was taken away from my mother. Social services came in and investigated and let us come back, but as a child I didn't understand that my mother was a threat to my life, just from her thinking. Me and my little brother used to run away from home and stay away very late because our mom drove us crazy with her stories. My oldest sister Tiffany eventually left and moved in with our dads mom our grandmother Joyce who we currently live with now because our mom drove us crazy with her stories and actions. I had no role model, my mom was so wrapped up in her own "self" that she never paid me any attention. Elementary and Middle school living with my mother were horrible because I always sad, depressed, and stressed out. & my grades reflected that. She would complain people were running in and out of our house (when there was no one but her mind making this up.) I used rap music as an outlet, well music in general and it helped me coupe. I remember wanted to die sometimes, but of course I was never ever really serious. I thought death had to be better then the way I was living as a kid.

My outlet was strolling the streets of Van Nuys with my friend Alyx. Being a tomboy, playing military, hopping over walls into peoples backyards, and stealing fruit off of people's trees to eat. Riding our bikes into other cities, and buying loads of junk from the 7-11 on the corner and eating it all because alot of nights I had nothing for dinner. In middle school I experienced a lot of differences, puberty hit, the busstop that I waited at to go to school had a man at who used to play with himself at. I saw things I shouldn't have. I was punked for some things in school & was very unhappy. I didn't tell my mom because at that point her mental state was at its worse and she would curse me out for no reason I would cry at the thought of having to go home and I hated my life to being negative about everything and basically not having anything to do. I remember feeling like an outcast and wanting to run away and stay away. My brothers behavior got worse. And out of nowhere Children Services was called again & me and my brother were taken away placed into the custody of my grandmother Joyce. From their I began a new life, I started 9th grade and I still struggled to really understand myself and come to grips with real life, because all I knew was NEGATIVE. I went through therapy for about 3 years, so I could be taught that my negativity was not my fault but my circumstances. I was used to not having all I ever wanted, nurturing, love, and compassion, that other children experience because my mothers mind was sick. I didn't understand why I had to have such a hard life, and although I began to make friends and interact in high school and open up more, my mom was kept a secret from friends, boyfriends, and even neighbors. I didn't know how to explain to people that my mothers mind was sick and that she embarrassed me. Until this day my mother still struggles financially, mentally, and emotionally. Looking at her hurts me everyday because if only she got the mental help she needed she could be so successful and so happy. She lives alone, and her disease still overwhelms her. Me and my sister encourage her to get help but she refuses and thinks their is nothing wrong. I have no financial, emotional, or any type of support from her. That is why it is so hard for me to land on my own feet and get a car, and all the things I want because I continue to help my mother financially and still maintain my own financial responsibilities. When people ask me why am I so angry or sad or depressed sometimes, its because I look at all I've been through and frown, its so hard to be happy knowing I never really had "parents." I am literally being a parent to my mom giving her money and buying her things. It makes me upset when I rely on the love, support, and attention from my bf so much because I lacked it so much as a child, I want him to cater to me 24/7. I have realized that I have to pick my life up and take care of me, but its so hard. I know I am an intelligent person and I will be successful but you can't blame me for wanting to give up sometimes. I've had to obtained everything I've ever wanted on my own. I look at material things sometimes and want them so bad but know that I'm the only person who I can ask to get it for me...So in return I have learned to humble myself and try not to be angry about the circumstances i once were in. I am who I am for a reason.

I am Kiy. I'm not rich, I went to Washington Prep H.S. I have an attitude problem (sometimes), I don't like being judged. I don't need anyone's pity! & I have a mother who has Paranoid Schizophrenia. I have been through alot in my 20 years of my life but I still remain strong. I go to school full-time & work part-time, and I want to be successful, I have learned from my mothers mistakes and I am not ashamed anymore. My goal is to be a successful Clinical Psychologist. My dream is to make a positive difference in people's lives. Although I still struggle I stay and strong and ease my mind by blogging. & I wish one day to prove to my mother that through all her faults and sickness that I still do love her and appreciate her giving birth to me. Maybe one day when she seeks the professional help she needs I can forget all the things she put me through emotionally. I have forgiven her, but I will never forget the emotional tare on my heart. I hope one day she will have the means to come to grips and stop blaming everything/everyone else but her mind.

I am Kiy, and thank you for not judging me... <3

Everyday is a blessing!

2009-11-17T23:24:00.001-08:00

I'm sorry but I absolutely love my Iphone. Lol I can do everything on here! From deposit checks into my bank account, order from chipotle, or book a flight! :). I also love my new blogger app, Lord knows I'm lazy & don't feel like sitting up typing on my Mac... ( yes people...Mac or die!) Anyway, although I had the absolute worse day this yr yesterday, today was great! I had people who I thought were absolutely through with me, reach out to me & show me they care, they made me feel really loved. So I say everyday is a blessing! Have faith y'all... :) ( it's not tattoed on me for nothing! God always makes a way! Thank u Lord! & i leave u all with a smile... :)

Xoxo...

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Changes...

2009-11-17T23:05:00.001-08:00

Sacrifice...be real...stay true!

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I feel like I'm losing my mind...

2009-11-12T23:57:00.000-08:00

it's crazy how we go out of our way, or even out of ourselves to make people happy....Man these last couple of months I feel like I have been losing my mind...ehhhh idk what to do nor say anymore... :-/ like honestly its impossible for me to please everyone, but it's like the one person you do set out to please it never seems to work...I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I have completely given up hope in my mind, but my heart hurts like FUCK!! I'm confused and irritated...but hey whats new??...All in all idk who I am no longer, you have completely turned my life around. You have made things clearer in good and bad ways. I feel like I've given you everything I have, and received just a small percentage of you in return...still I wait...hoping one day you will understand that I was always there, I have endured a lot, and I am still here...I never ran away, I never gave up and I always held onto this hope I have for this situation...All I want from you is to tell me what you want from me. & to admit when/where you've been wrong! I have given you everything I have and I can't even get a simple answer, (that shit hurts majorly)...hmmm maybe the truth will hurt, but at least I get honesty, that realness I know you posses. All in all I ask you...who will ever put up with the things I dealt with, and who will ever love you the way I did/do...If it's the end for you then tell me, if it isn't the end then tell me that too. I just need to know what you want...just talk to me...

I want you to be my best friend...but if it's too late then I understand that too...

I just don't think 2 years of my life loving somebody is going to disappear in a matter of a couple of months...

...back to square one...WAITING.... :-/

I hate waiting...I seriously have no patience...ugh...

TO BE CONTINUED....

Sex Therapy- Robin Thicke

2009-11-10T23:03:00.000-08:00

I love this song...Robin is amazing! :) Thank You Erica for introducing me to this sexy, bomb song! ;)

Lyrics...(wow Robin didn't know you got down like that...lol)

Whoa (4X)

Stressed out, uptight,
over worked, wound up,
unleash what you got,
let’s explore your naughty side,
follow me where we go,
we don’t need no bread crumbs,
cant you see baby,
you’re the only one,
you are among the, (?)
you are my love,(?)
let me be your medicine,
cuz I got one thing on my mind,
I’ll be your valentine,
spread your wings and baby fly away

(Chorus)
It’s your body,
we can yell if you want to,
loud if you want to,
scream if you want to,
just let me love you,
lay right here girl,
don’t be scared of me,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,
It’s your body,
we’ll go hard if you want to,
as hard as you want to,
soft as you want to,
just let me love you lay right here,
I’ll be your fantasy,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,

Whoa (4X)
Whoa (4X)

Baby let’s settle for you to (??),
just let your baby (??),
I’ll lick you down,
make you feel like you got a body,
ha Ha Ha Ha Ha the doctor’s here four you,
take you like Twilight,
I'll bite your neck,
you don’t have to sing in the rain (??)
I’ll get you wet, yea
push you up against the wall,
turn you out and turn you on,
yea, yea, whoa

(Chorus)
It’s your body,
we can yell if you want to,
loud if you want to,
scream if you want to,
just let me love you,
lay right here girl,
don’t be scared of me,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,
It’s your body,
we’ll go hard if you want to, (Baby its your body)
as hard as you want to,
soft as you want to,
just let me love you lay right here,
I’ll be your fantasy,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,

Whoa (4X)
Yea (4X)

Girl it’s your body,
we can do whatever you like,
girl its your body,
we can do whatever you like,
It’s your body we can ride and rock and roll,
ride and rock and roll,
ride and rock, oh oh oh oh,

(Chorus)
It’s your body,
we can yell if you want to,
loud if you want to,
scream if you want to,
just let me love you,
lay right here girl,
don’t be scared of me,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,
It’s your body,
we’ll go hard if you want to,
as hard as you want to,
soft as you want to,
just let me love you lay right here,
I’ll be your fantasy,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,

Shawty, shawty it’s your body,
we can do can do can do, (sex therapy)
shawty, shawty it’s your body,
we can do whatever you like,
just let me love you,
lay right here girl,
don’t be scared of me,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy.

where should I start?

2009-11-10T21:13:00.000-08:00

let me start by saying hello again...I'm not as random as I used to be, I probably won't come off as bubbly as I used to....I think that has something to do with the growing and maturing I have done...but sit back, relax, and enjoy...my blog... :)

i'm back...

2009-11-10T20:43:00.001-08:00

...like I never left...hello, my fellow bloggers... :)

i want some recs....(KINDA)

2009-07-01T19:13:00.001-07:00

why I love you. :-) (one day I will print this and read it to you!)

2009-05-21T00:18:00.000-07:00

I D K . . .where to start...

You know what scares me the most? The fact that my love for you is so strong that sometimes I get so scared that I find these ways to suppress my feelings, i.e. I try making you mad, of course know how to get a reaction out of you just because those meanie feelings you throw at me will some how cast away how much love I have for you, and really make me think... So yeah, I guess I am so afraid that I love you way more than you love me, I sometimes question things: I mostly ask, "Why did I get chosen?" or that famous question, "Why does he even love me, if I get on his nerve so much?" Your spoiled, hard-working, God-fearing, energetic, and sometimes arrogant as HELL, but hey your my boyfriend, the man I want to spend the rest of my life. I thought about all the things that we've been through in are short, but very worthwhile relationship, and I think, Wow! He must not know that if I am annoying right now, years down I just might get worse... ;-) I thought about Taco Night the other night and I said how immature was I, to stop a grown ass man from trying to EAT! Then I thought about your actions and said, "I can't believe this NEGRO is really mad!!" smdh! But I can see why you were mad. I understand & I take into consideration that I was in fact wrong. The away message (YEAH VERY IMMATURE, THAT'S SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU!!) Here's my justification sometimes anger gets the best of people and we say things or write things to get others attention. I wanted to prove a point, I guess I wanted to show that our mediocre problems are nothing compared to the stuff I have endured and that it saddens me that we fight over the dumbest things. But hey thats what happens in relationships, & I am okay with that! Sometimes I get so scared because I feel like I have nothing else to give in this relationship & you are just going to walk away...Most of the time I feel like my vehicle incapability puts a strain on us, I feel like most of the problems are my fault, and sometimes I can't deal. But I have realized that I can't blame everything on me, all of these problems are learning experiences, & not talking to you drives me crazy...I did not want you to judge me nor my fam, I mean it's hard enough typing about it!

But in no way shape or form am I trying to walk away. I just want things in my life to be different. I want to do all the things I ever wanted to do for you. I want to be the girlfriend who takes her bf lunch at work, I want to be the gf that supports and is always at her significant others side, through thick and thin, and I can't do that because I am not able too...most of the time
:-( ! I just wish I could contribute more to you, I wish I could be more open sometimes, & I've asked God to help me along the way. I just want to be all you've ever wanted and more, but first I need to know exactly what you need. I only want to be jealous when you want me to be. Sometimes I can be so jealous and mean to some of your female friends, but it is only because I am secretly a very jealous person. I think being jealous is a natural trait possessed in many females and only the strongest can admit it. I have dealt with almost everything this relationship has thrown at me, maybe not in the best way, but I am definitely trying, you got to love me for that. I have created this blog not to throw problems in your face, but to type it and have you read it, and one day read this blog to you and explain to you my feelings & emotions at that time. Thinking about going home for L.A. for the summer makes me really sad, I mean I'm going to miss you dearly, I wouldn't go if I did not have too. The fear of not returning to UCM has been making me even sadder, I just want to get to a point in my life where I am stable, content, and pursuing my goals. I just want to be with you. Forever. I guess I just want you to understand that I will always be here, I'll always love you, and I will always support you in everything you do. I am your biggest fan, and I respect you body & soul, and I hope one day you write me something like this. ( I know it so hard to express yourself)! Your life is so hectic, your so busy, I hope it slows down someday so maybe one day you can start a family get married, and start your record company, "Shout to the Lord Records!!" (which I know you will do... kids part that is).... ;-)

For right now I am so proud of you, and I love you more and more everyday, even when you piss me off, text me saying stuff like "your too grown to be fighting with me," and that I am the word without the assness after it! I love you when your being an impatient assh*le who thinks they are right all the time. I love you when I cook dinner for you after work, and you eat, chill for 5 minutes and leave. I love you when you ask me why all the damn time! I loved you even after you did not show up to my sister's baby-shower. I love you when make sleepy-talk! (oh gosh!) I love you because you love the name Kiy'Le! I love you because you hate Young Jeezy and I love him! I love you because you obsess over Jasmine Sullivan, who is twice your size and weighs about the average size of a wrestler. (LMFAO!!!) I love you when you spell things wrong in your away message, it makes me and Ace crack up! I love that your mom calls you so much, you are truly a momma's boy. I love that you are a clean freak! I love that you cannot remember anything I asked you two days ago. I love that you love meeting new people, your really sociable, I wish I possessed that trait! I love how blessed you are, you make so many things happen for yourself. I despise your lifestyle: own car, own place, a great job: you will be a great provider and FATHER one day. I love how you love me, sometimes you can be mean, you talk way too much, but I love you. I love your voice, and when your mad at me, I also like when you yell at me, well only when you apologize right after. lol I love that you love having two phones, (admit it you know you do!) I love how you love boat shoes, gospel music, and that you can sing your a** off! I love how I think about you at the most random times. I love you for being such a good friend, always being there for everybody, and being diagnosed by everyone to have a hyper problem! lol I LOVE YOU CUHZ CUHZ!! I love you for being so family oriented, and for loving L.A. as you do! :-) I love that you are forever going to L.A. on weekends to make church, holidays, or whatever else! Anyway I can give you a lot more reasons why I love you! You know I love you for all you do for me! & most of all for sticking by me & still being with me!

I am lucky, and SO ARE YOU!!! lol

I love you LeAntwuan Currie Cooke! & your the best boyfriend I have ever had! & one more thing have fun in L.A. this weekend! :'( sniffs...I guess I'll be seeing you. :-) ooooffff course!

say hello to Dior....

2009-05-10T01:12:00.001-07:00

i love my little choco-dile nephew... :)

"HAVE FAITH" = inspiring!!!

2009-04-23T22:39:00.000-07:00

I mean believe in something...

because i sure do...

non-believers come to the light....

I will be getting this beautiful tattoo spread across either my left or right shoulder blade....i'm getting the heart too! yeee

im thinking left...of course my font will be bigger because it has to be stretched across my shoulder blade! but I am definitely excited!!

I love Keyshia's tat...I would never personally get a tattoo on my neck, but she looks BEAUTIFUL ROCKING IT... :)

OMG!!!!

2009-04-22T17:36:00.001-07:00

mario looks a HOT MESS!

2009-04-21T15:07:00.000-07:00

UGH!! lol

I mean it doesn't look that bad...but i mean WHY?????? lol

I love beautiful black people...(well I love people in general) this is dedicated to my people! PUT YOUR FIST IN THE AIR!

2009-04-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

they are a BOMB COUPLE!

Aww kanye is being NICE to the paparazzi

I love Ciara`s hair...

I really like her dress!!!

LOVE

2009-04-20T16:30:00.000-07:00

4/19/09

lol this picture is so cute!!!

smile, you could make someone`s DAY!

2009-04-09T22:52:00.000-07:00

yay I'm going home 2morrow! Easter is going to be fun! Hopefully i see my girls when I'm out there as well! yay Los Angeles here i come! oooh & I get to get my hair did! ;) Lord knows i need it done! I get to see the fam! And my 2 week old nephew DIOR!!! :)

;)

2009-04-09T22:47:00.001-07:00

ooooohyeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

:)

-CUDI

i`m nice son!

2009-04-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

RAP BATTLE CUHZ!!!! AHAHHAHA

BRANDON YOU CAN'T SEE ME! LOL

P.S. I LOVE MY MACBOOK!! :)

speechless, actions speak way LOUDER than words!

2009-04-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

I just want you to talk to me...

Baby-Fabolous

2009-04-05T22:34:00.000-07:00

mmmmm, Mike Shorey! Come back!!! lol

okay I love this song, it is so MELLOW!!

& Mike Shorey is FINNNNNEEEEE!! jeez!!! :D

me acting silly in Atlanta...

2009-04-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

I love this picture because I look silly, it's like one of those cool candids....oooooh I was so caught off guard. Mind you I was not drunk, I was just being silly in Atlanta... :D oh and that guy is "my" Kid Cudi...ahahhaaha jp

my nephew- Dior Aaron Myles :D

2009-04-05T19:26:00.001-07:00

2009-04-04T19:59:00.000-07:00

Stolen from the Ambers blog. Thank You girls! :)

Age: 19
Current Residence: California
Occupation: Sales Associate/ Bobcat Caller/ Student
Status: In a relationship.
Favorite Fast Food: In-N-Out
Who I'd like to party with: The Pussycat Dolls and Angel Lola Luv
I'd marry him in a heartbeat: Kid Cudi ;)
All time fav song: "Come in (my door's open)"- Day 26
Fav Show & Movie: The Tudor`s/ Twilight
Favorite Perfume: Juicy Contour- Viva La Juicy
I never leave the house without: Wallet & my UCM sweatshirt
I would never date a guy who: is abusive.
Most overused phrase: "Ugh I am so irritated!"
Best thing that ever happened to you: my nephew Dior, he is adorable!
Worst thing that ever happened to you: failing my Clinical Neuropsychology Class and being put on Academic Probation, this semester... :'(.
I hate it when: People think they are better than other people, like for instance girls who find everything that's great about themselves, but never see the negative in them, girls who think they are prettier then other girls period! I hate conceited girls!
Worst Characteristic: I have terrible mood swings! Like one moment I can be cool, but then the next moment I can be upset. I find I do this with my bf a lot, especially when he is not showing me attention. I'm not a crazy attention needier but I feel like if I am being ignored of course my mood is going to change.
Best Characteristic: I always compliment and praise people for their positive actions or accomplishments. I love uplifting people.
Biggest Misconception About You: I mean honestly I don't know where to start...
What I love about blogging: I love informing people about the things I like or the way I feel and actually finding people who care and actually getting their feedback, it really makes me feel good.
What I hate about blogging: When people post millions of pictures of themselves and think they are "bomb." Their is a difference between self absorption, conceit and just plain beauty. Some people post pictures of themselves all day on their blog and it has no storyline, no purpose...
Goals for 09: To find my calling...

omgg these boys can really jerk! get it!

2009-03-30T18:35:00.000-07:00

and I am guessing they go to UCLA...lol I hope they ddnt just go up there to jerk...lol

Amber Rose (Kanye's girl) on Lip Service- big ups to worldstarhiphop.com

2009-03-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

I see why Kanye digs her, she is straight freaky...get it Kanye!

Nicki Minaj says she is a "bad bitch..."

2009-03-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, Nicki Minaj is the shit to me. It just dawned on me that Nicki was featured on the I AM Music Tour and I actually remember her performing a few of her songs, and she was tight. I could see why a lot of females do not like her, for one she is highlt confident, nasty, raw, and gutter. I respect her attitude and style because she is bringing something new to the rap game for females. She goes as Lil' Wayne's mistress, because he is the president of Young Money Records, the label she is signed too and her boss. Nicki assures the game that she has never given away her "sweetbox" to any rapper in the game, & if you don't know what she means about a sweetbox, you honestly won't understand her (she refers to it a lot). lol Nicki is ghetto, funny, and very outgoing, and she writes all her rhymes. Nicki says that she has never/and or never will ever have to have sex with Lil Wayne or any rapper for that matter because she respect herself too much . Although she calls herself the baddest bitch in the game that statement to her just mean being "bad" and everything you do, just basically putting your all into everything you do. Nicki is funny, & I am including some interviews of her! Nicki Minaj is a female MC, from Queens, New York. But I say don't let her looks fool you, she has flows!

Be on the lookout for Nicki Minaj: www.myspace.com/nickiminaj

Bayje- pronounced (beige)

2009-03-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

A 19 year old singer/songwriter from Syracuse, NY. She can blow you guys! I got chills listening to this girl Oh and fellas, she is BOMB! This young lady is so naturally pretty, she is signed to Atlantic Records, and she is really talented! Her mother is White and her father is of African-American descent! if you want more info on Bayje, visit her myspace...

www.myspace.com/bayje.com
Bayje - No Happy Ending (Official Music Video)

Bayje - Find A Way

idea's anyone? my first tattoo is ready to transform...

2009-03-09T23:36:00.000-07:00

okay so I need advice people.

should I

a) Get my tattoo colored in?
b) add some cool scenery like a background to my tat?
c) enhance the look of the peacock butterfly?
d) just go on to my next one? (sorry I really can't share with you guys what my next one will be, I don't want any thieves stealing my ideas...) lol

You may only vote once! lol

fuck it, put it in a bucket...ride that shit out...

2009-03-07T21:42:00.000-08:00

I can honestly say I really miss the campus life. being off campus is like ok, i save money. but i mean there is nothing like walking out of my dorm and going to visit friends that live like 2 feet away from me. This off-campus shit is weak, I am at home alone on weekends out here, it's fucking boring, and sometimes I don't know what to do with my self. I mean this town is so damn boring! Like where the hell is the excitement out here, the life, the love...man something told me to get dressed and go to campus and just study or whatnot. But for reason I lost track reading this bomb ass blog, and shit, now it's dark. (9:46pm) to be exact. I miss living in the dorms and playing board games with roomies, watching movies with Beth, MO, Monie, Michelle, Erica B, Tina, and sometimes T. I miss the whole late chat sessions me and my rommies would have behind my roomies back! haha Good Times! I just miss being preoccupied, it's so hard to find stuff to do out here, and it's really getting to me, especially this year, like foreal. I guess the hoes at my school find their enjoyment fucking everybody, the people who are involved in sports have practices to look forward too, people who are nerds, study all damn day, and then there are people like me who try to study, but get so distracted at home that start reading blogs to pass the time. okay the parties are fun, for the most part, but what about me, Kiy the girl who doesn't really party, what does she do to past the time then. Man ontop of that Merced is retarded because parties get shut down like 5 mins after they start, and for some reason I get so mad when I think about all the alcohol that is being wasted because of the party being shut down. Ne way, I guess Merced is getting as far as my hair is concerned. I mean even tho a fill and a pedicure out here is not up to pare out here like in Los Angeles, I did find this wonderful black women to do my hair. Ontop of that, she does a really good job, which I am proud to say considering that the black people out here all look poor, down and out, or walking zombies to say the least. It's like the black people out here have had their lives sucked outta them. I mean its just so hard to get a properly groomed out here as a young black women. I mean like damn manicure is 25 bucks, full set is 40, and designs r like 5 dollars for EACH NAIL! like damn go to L.A. it's only half that price, maybe even a quarter! UGh eyebrows, let's not even go there, man 15 dollars....wtfff! Anyway I try to stay beautiful but this town is pulling me down, i try to stay productive but how do you stay productive when there are no rewards, no congratulations, no MOTIVATION, DRIVE, shit i dunno. Sometimes I wish i had a motivator, I mean my mom is a motivator, but I mean mainly for the fact that she didn't get the opportunity to even make it to college, but the point of this blog is, "Is this really how college should be?" "Should I be unhappy?" "Should I stay in this environment?" I think about this everyday, how being here is a choice, and I don't know why I choose to still be here. Through all the boredom, lack of entertainment, unhappiness, and ridicule, I STILL remain @ UC Merced. Whatever I might as well suck this shit up, all I got is two more years left.

P.S. Don't even make me get on the mall out here...omgg it's one level, and there is a longs drugs inside, no damn real stores! It smells like cows, and just ugggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhh! FUCK!

in the end i guess SUCCESS is my only motivation...my degree, my leisure, the luxuries that will soon come after college...

fuck it! swallow all that sappy shit and ride it out! GRADUATE SCHOOL = ATLANTA, MAYBE...OR DC?? HMM, WHO KNOWS....SHIT NEW YORK...OR MAYBE LOS ANGELES....

STAY TUNED...

wtfff I was really scared when I saw this pic!!!! WHY!!!?? MJ!!! WHY???!!

2009-03-07T00:40:00.000-08:00

Big ups to Mediatakeout.com ! lol

Musiq- "so beautiful" big ups to concreteloop.com

2009-03-04T21:54:00.000-08:00

soooooo this is his next single, "so beautiful" I really like the video, and honestly you can't go wrong with Musiq he is incredible. =D

Musiq Soulchild - "sobeautiful"

bee-yoooh-t-fuuuuuul MR. LE`...

2009-03-03T23:10:00.001-08:00

OKAY, I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND...ESPECIALLY WHEN HE DISPLAYS THAT LOVELY SMILE OF HIS!!! =D
HE HAS THE PRETTIEST TEETH EVER...! LOL

70.5! ewwww reflection.

2009-03-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

so I just got my sociology midterm back, and i got a mere 70.5...ehhh...I guess I can't really complain seeing as I studied for only two days, and got some answers confused with other questions...lol don't ask how, but i did. Anyway, on the other hand, I should just be grateful that I passed you know. But I just really wish I could have applied myself more and not only apply myself, but actually know material. Like for instance, be able to throughly explain a particularly position, problem, or subject. I feel like a dark cloud is over my head, and it's like raining on my head. I'm always freezing and I'm this weather is just not helping. NofirstnameDiorMyles, I can't wait till my nephew with no first name comes, i have feeling he is going to be a little rugrat/wanna be badboy...I think he would shine a lot more light in my life. I guess this cloud is over my head because of midterms, the weather, and some things I've read over the last couple of days. Don't you hate when you realize you've done something wrong all AFTER the fact. Life is a trip, I swear you don't realize how wrong you are until that one thing just walks out of your life. Like saying "ok, I'll change", but the person you want to see you change, doesn't necessarily see a difference. idk, just a thought. I'm tired of playing the victim, I feel like a lack a lot of strength. ehhh this blog is pointless. anyway. The point is don't take people for granted, live your life to the fullest, and love yourself, FOR YOURSELF....and idk just be true to yourself. I believe people should stop trying to please others and please themselves so much all the time. All in all i'm really tired of typing so i'm going to go.

k, buah bye...

just pics...you be the judge...

2009-03-02T19:26:00.001-08:00

BIG UPS TO WWW.BOSSIP.COM...

bow wow singing???

2009-02-23T11:20:00.000-08:00

stolen from itsmykeb.blogspot.com...lol sorry Kid cudi is the truth!

2009-02-22T15:33:00.000-08:00

i miss Aaliyah! we need a resolution !

2009-02-21T22:02:00.001-08:00

day n nite by kid cudi!

2009-02-20T16:23:00.000-08:00

this man is so innovative and BOMB!! hmmm I love him!

starving...

2009-02-18T10:56:00.000-08:00

grrrrrrrrr...

kid cudi!

2009-02-17T22:47:00.000-08:00

i have found my celebrity CRUSH!! mmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmm!

MINE!!! not urs!!!! MIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEE!!!

23 ! ooooooh!

i`m coming kid, i`m coming...lmfao....

oooppppssss

2009-02-17T20:52:00.000-08:00

..."thinking of a master plan...you know anything you need, baby ask your man."

I love this song and this video is visual MAGIC! go k-west!

2009-02-17T20:06:00.000-08:00

KANYE WEST "Welcome To Heartbreak" Directed by Nabil from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

i love him...okay so what...it's my blog!

2009-02-16T00:05:00.000-08:00

don't judge!!

grrrr

kiy vs. mr. hat...

2009-01-25T01:28:00.002-08:00

one boring saturday (alone) in merced...sigggghh

Decode....really loving this song...

2009-01-25T01:28:00.001-08:00

the first dance.... =]

2009-01-22T22:16:00.001-08:00

Obsessed !

2009-01-18T12:19:00.000-08:00

OMGG! this movie looks really good!!

I can't wait!! Beyonce is not playing a singer! and she's fighting! get it!

chris brown has a hickie....props to mediatakeout.com

2008-12-16T16:09:00.000-08:00

goooooo oooon chris brooown ! hit it! lol

Riri loves her CB...

wow, brought to you by Mediatakeout.com...

2008-12-16T16:03:00.000-08:00

4real though?? her lips...awwwww.... i really have no opinion, I do not know if this is cute or weird...well all i have to say is as long as its not her NAME!! lol

Kenyon Martin of the Denver Nuggets, got his gf Trina's lips tatted on his neck, I only have the picture, but if you go to mediatakeout.com you can view a video of him confirming that they r infact his girlfriends lips, who is infact Trina...awww how precious...lol

ummm...idk about you, but I think she should seriously keep this look up...lol

2008-12-13T01:25:00.001-08:00

she`s really pretty...(courtesy of mediatakeout.com)

MY CONVO WITH KEIKEI...HAHHAA

2008-12-08T22:07:00.000-08:00

i hate rudea** people doode I swear, just say motherf***ing exccccuuuuse me! =]

------------------- December 7, 2008 10:25 pm -------------------
ThaNuNuMi: Helllo
theebrightmind89: Hi
theebrightmind89: Send me that pic
------------------- December 7, 2008 10:31 pm -------------------
theebrightmind89: Lol
theebrightmind89: Got it.
ThaNuNuMi: Gr8
theebrightmind89: Lol
ThaNuNuMi: Shhh snoop on
theebrightmind89: Oh gr8
theebrightmind89: Bye
-------------------------------- 3:22 pm
--------------------------------
ThaNuNuMi: Nooooo
-------------------------------- 3:29 pm
--------------------------------
theebrightmind89: Hahahaha
theebrightmind89: Lol
-------------------------------- 4:00 pm
--------------------------------
ThaNuNuMi: Shhh
ThaNuNuMi: Im watchin gossip girls
ThaNuNuMi: Xoxo gossip girls
ThaNuNuMi: Hahaha i love this show
-------------------------------- 4:06 pm
--------------------------------
theebrightmind89: Hahhahahaa
ThaNuNuMi: I hate this comp it needs a virus scan i think
-------------------------------- 4:15 pm
--------------------------------
theebrightmind89: Hahahaha
theebrightmind89: Lol
theebrightmind89: Wow
ThaNuNuMi: Wtf
theebrightmind89: Lol
ThaNuNuMi: Here u go again
theebrightmind89: Waat?!
theebrightmind89: Waat?!
theebrightmind89: I gotta work @ 5
theebrightmind89: Imma quit
ThaNuNuMi: Late ass
ThaNuNuMi: Take that damn away off
ThaNuNuMi: I gotta find what u say inbetween that madness of an away
ThaNuNuMi: So
ThaNuNuMi: I get off at 5
ThaNuNuMi: Y would u do that
-------------------------------- 4:20 pm
--------------------------------
theebrightmind89: Hahhaaha
theebrightmind89: Lol
theebrightmind89: Cuz I hate this job
theebrightmind89: Its wack
theebrightmind89: But if I get a car
theebrightmind89: I need thejob
theebrightmind89: Fugg
theebrightmind89: I'm jus screwed
ThaNuNuMi: Hahaha
ThaNuNuMi: Hahahaa
-------------------------------- 4:24 pm
--------------------------------
theebrightmind89: Lol
theebrightmind89: I really am
theebrightmind89: I ddnt come to work on sunday
ThaNuNuMi: Ok
theebrightmind89: I sent my manager an email sayin I was in la visiting
a sick aunt
ThaNuNuMi: Hahaha
ThaNuNuMi: What aunt
ThaNuNuMi: Hahahaha
theebrightmind89: Aahahaha great aunt whitney
theebrightmind89: Ahahahaha
theebrightmind89: Lol
theebrightmind89: Lol
ThaNuNuMi: Who tha fukkk is that
theebrightmind89: Its so physical
ThaNuNuMi: Hahaha
theebrightmind89: I made her up
ThaNuNuMi: Whitney
ThaNuNuMi: Hahahahaha
ThaNuNuMi: Never
ThaNuNuMi: Duuuhh
theebrightmind89: Hahahahhaa
theebrightmind89: Lol
theebrightmind89: Dumbass
theebrightmind89: So y you ask who is that?!
theebrightmind89: Ur slower than I thought
theebrightmind89: Imma put r convo on my blog
theebrightmind89: Ahahahaa
theebrightmind89: Ur jus dumb
ThaNuNuMi: No nigga
ThaNuNuMi: Thats y i said who is that
ThaNuNuMi: Like u dumb
theebrightmind89: Lol
theebrightmind89: Say hellooo bloggers
ThaNuNuMi: Makin up aunts and shit
theebrightmind89: Mannnn.
theebrightmind89: Hahahaha
ThaNuNuMi: Hahaha
theebrightmind89: Y wuld wish sickness on a real aunt
theebrightmind89: Lol
ThaNuNuMi: It was a figurative question
theebrightmind89: Damn shulda said lakeisha
ThaNuNuMi: Not literral
ThaNuNuMi: Hahahahha
theebrightmind89: I*
ThaNuNuMi: This is hillarious
theebrightmind89: Hahahaha
theebrightmind89: Lol
ThaNuNuMi: No tha fukk u shouldnt
theebrightmind89: Hahaha
ThaNuNuMi: Whiney is juss find
theebrightmind89: Well stfu
theebrightmind89: Hahaaha
theebrightmind89: Dummy
theebrightmind89: Jaylen...allalalalalallla
theebrightmind89: I gotta piss
theebrightmind89: This girl dnt like me
theebrightmind89: Cuz I said she was rude
theebrightmind89: Dumb mexican biiiitch!
ThaNuNuMi: Me 2
theebrightmind89: Rudeass whole
theebrightmind89: Hahahahaha
ThaNuNuMi: Hahaha
theebrightmind89: Lol
ThaNuNuMi: What u do to her
ThaNuNuMi: Shhh
theebrightmind89: Lol
ThaNuNuMi: I hate this comp
theebrightmind89: We were in class and she walked inbetween me and my
friend
ThaNuNuMi: It needs a viral scxan
theebrightmind89: So I said ur excused rudeass
theebrightmind89: Lol
theebrightmind89: Hahahahhaa
ThaNuNuMi: Hahaha it has an std
theebrightmind89: Lol
theebrightmind89: Wtf
theebrightmind89: Ugh
ThaNuNuMi: Lol
theebrightmind89: I dnt kno about that shit cuz
ThaNuNuMi: Hahahahahaha
ThaNuNuMi: U said that
theebrightmind89: Hell yeah
theebrightmind89: I dnt care
-------------------------------- 4:56 pm
--------------------------------
ThaNuNuMi: Lol
-------------------------------- 6:35 pm
--------------------------------
theebrightmind89: Hoe
ThaNuNuMi: Lol
theebrightmind89: Lol

Plies is a very intelligent man...i respect him alot..

2008-12-08T14:48:00.000-08:00

plus i like looking at him! =]

aww cute couple

2008-12-07T02:40:00.001-08:00

BOOOO!!!

2008-12-07T02:37:00.000-08:00

OMG HOT GHETTO MESSES! what are these kids doing?? lol ahahhhahaha it was so funny though! FREESTYLE @ WARREN H.S!! AHAHAHA

2008-11-28T21:23:00.000-08:00

omg if you don't watch this you should shoot yourself! ahahhaha

the district....(shoes)

2008-11-24T23:12:00.000-08:00

I am really sick so I decided to blog, I have a tummy virus, and I wanted to do something before bed...(which I've been in all day)....uggggggh i hate being sick!

ne way these shoes r TIGHT! enjoy...

OH AND HERE IS ANGEL LOLA LUV...ENJOY...

I LOVE HER...

her passion singin this song is so evident...i love this song; Pink it's just so damn dope!

2008-11-24T22:59:00.000-08:00

Sober-Pink

performance @ the AMA's

this is one badass CAR!

2008-11-23T21:33:00.001-08:00

I'm in love...

P-world; omg hecka funny! Pittsburgh off top!

2008-11-20T10:02:00.000-08:00

i been stop liking Bow Wow, but 4real though Bow Wow, you having Sex with people on live televsion?? WOW!! UR FIRED!

2008-11-14T18:49:00.000-08:00

I'm pissed @ the fact that he got photo'd doing this! I mean the show Entourage is alright, I mean I've seen the show a couple of times, but what I'm trying to figure out is why??? Why did he really have to have sex with her? I have a feeling he probably requested to really do it with the her...his lyrics, are getting worse and worse...he outta be ashamed! hmmm, some Momma's boy...smh...

brought to you by Mediatakeout!

wow...smh... peep the photo's below...

my talk with uncle rey....shuld i transfer to CLARK?? yesss! lol

2008-11-11T21:41:00.000-08:00

uncle rey!

i need ur help!

9:14pm Reynaldo

with what

9:18pm Kiyanna

so im thinking about transfering to Clark Atlanta..and ive been tryna get fed-back on if thats a good idea or not

9:19pm Reynaldo

well why are u transferring

9:22pm Kiyanna

because @ my skool I don't feel like im learning anything, and I cannot adjust here, my major is not very fond here, this university is more of a reseach school, so they cater to natural science majors, and i dont feel like im experiencing real college life. but most importantly the enviornment is hard for me to adjust too, and i dnt feel accomplished and happy to be going here.

im unhappy

and clark was my 1st choice school

i just ddnt go becuz i was scared of change persay

but i want to go

ive thought about it

and im going to talk to my advisor

i just want to experience a black school

learn more about my culture

9:24pm Reynaldo

thats understandable sound similar to my coming here. i was ready for something different and being in LA was just too comfortable for me. I have learned a lot here.

9:25pm Kiyanna

oh really??

well thats really cool!

9:25pm Reynaldo

but being at a black school does have some drawbacks that someone in a UC system would have to adjust
9:25pmKiyanna

which is something i expect going from the uc system to a black school

9:25pm Reynaldo

just think about the modern conveniences you have at your school and take them away

u learn patience and working the system

9:26pm Kiyanna

i feel like im wasting money going to a school and being in an unhappy enviornment

hmmmm, patience! woooow i really need to learn that, and working the system...you kind of lost me. you mean learning how to get what u want?

9:27pm Reynaldo

i understand. u want college to be memorable and at the same time that you are getting all out of your course of study

whats your major

9:27pm Kiyanna

my major is Psychology, but i want to change it to Sociology, i like learning about groups as opposed to individuals

yeah exaactly...

9:28pm Reynaldo

what u need. nothing is easy at a lack school. you can get pass hat if u build relationships with staff, teachers and other students. stuff youll need inthe real world.

9:28pm Kiyanna

exactly*

9:28pm Reynaldo

cool. josephine is a psyche major. what do u plan to do with it

9:29pm Kiyanna

right and that is very easy to do @ my school....becuz professors are really friendly and nice. and i have met every single one of my professors, but this enviornment is not for me

well i had an idea as to what i wanted to do.

but uc merced made my dreams crash and burn

idk ne more

i wanted to be a clinical psychologist.

9:30pm Reynaldo

okay. but atlanta is cool. the south is different. not a lot of diversity like back home

9:31pm Kiyanna

i feel it...im pretty sure its better than uc merced

9:31pm Reynaldo

we have a cousin name charles baggett-hes on my firends list- he transfered to cau for 2 years from cali and moved to LA to do the acting thing. hes a good person to tellu what the schoolis like

yeah i feel u on that

9:32pm Kiyanna

u said my school was nerdy

9:33pm Kiyanna

just from lookin @ the website

well even worse than that

ne way

ill add this charles fellow

and see what he can say

what he has to say*

9:35pm Reynaldo

he's a distant cousin. on your great grandfather george sr. side

from oakland

9:35pm Kiyanna

lol

oakland??

wow thats cool

9:35pm Reynaldo

josie and i are the only ones from branch that he has met

9:36pm Kiyanna

really that is crazy...

9:36pm Reynaldo

also, can u afford cau?

9:36pm Kiyanna

wow

yeah i can afford it

i mean actually cau is less than the uc system

by 5,000 i believe

9:37pm Reynaldo

and from what i last remembered they require all money (no promissory stuff) paid in full before u step in a class

no way!

u need to check that out. he can tell u

9:37pm Kiyanna

okay maybe 3,000

i looked @ cau's tuition

its like 18,000

mine tuition is 22,000 a year

9:38pm Reynaldo

really?

9:38pm Kiyanna

lol yesss way

yeah really

9:38pm Reynaldo

well aight

9:39pm Kiyanna

alrighty

thanks

Reynaldo

no problem. family is always welcomed here

your uncle rey

9:40pm Kiyanna

ahahaah

how cheesy

9:41pm Reynaldo

like mozarella

9:42pm Kiyanna

hahhahahhaa

lol

OMGG Rickey Smiley is hilarious!!

2008-11-08T03:10:00.000-08:00

Bunk bed funerals, and Section 8 Rent that is one dollar a month...aahhahaa and still cnt pay they rent!! ahahahha OMGG !

COFFEE!

2008-10-30T10:07:00.001-07:00

yummmmmmmmmmy.....i love it!

simplicity...finally figuring out what I want...

2008-10-30T00:34:00.000-07:00

I mean its the little things that people do that really leave an impression on my heart. First off I would like to say heeey bloggers...i`ve been gone for awhile...but i`ve been hella busy, trying to get school work done, study, work, and even staying on top of all the gossip that comes to me from family and friends in L.A. & Merced...all this is hard, but what's even harder is trying to make it. I mean its so easy to quit and give up, as opposed to sticking with shit and accomplishing it. Its been plenty of times when I wanted to transfer and leave Merced for good. I mean I guess I'm here because I have somewhat of a support system here, and I have a lot of love for the people here. Anywhoo I was asked a very interesting question the other day. And that was, "Am I genuinely happy?" and the answer to that question is "no." I have not been genuinely happy since my 12th grade year of high school. I mean I have great friends, a cool boyfriend, and a pretty stable family background, but I have not been happy inside for a while. I'm struggling with trying to find myself, and in the mist of this taking on all these different roles in my life. I can definitely say that I love my boyfriend a lot . But I feel like a lot needs to change. Sometimes I wonder if its "really" going to genuinely work...I try reassuring myself, but there's only so many times you can do that. I feel like time is of the essence, and the number one thing I hate about this relationship is the "TIME" issue. As hard as that is, its going to have to be reevaluated in one way or another. Full-time this, full-time that, homework, household responsibilities, family time, whhhatever it may be something has to change. Just saying... I guess if you truly love someone you would re evaluate your life, or let them know that this is not the right time for you to try to settle, right?! I believe the ultimate selfishness is not being there for someone 100%. It crushes me to know that I don't know everything about you. Your favorite cereal, actor, designer, and your role model. I WANT TO KNOW, I REALLY NEED TO KNOW... I once told Veronica, "I don't feel like I'm in a relationship." And one of the biggest reasons I felt that way was because I felt like she knew more than I did about you, and in essence she probably does. A lot needs to be worked out. I need that talk, one on one, me and you, cell phones off for a reason. Something has to give . Let`s face it we only know just enough about each other to be content in this relationship, I WANT TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH YOU, BUT I REFUSE TO FEEL LIKE I`M LAST ON YOUR LIST. I WANT MORE...I honestly don't think I'm asking for too much...but heeey I may... I just wish you were there for me more. And I wish lastly that I didn't just get "one" day. I wish you had time for me. I wish you understood me "more." I wish I didn't feel like a burden on your life sometimes...what do we do?

Little things like talking one on one, are all I need...

P.S- I am not angry, & I am not breaking up with you. We just gotta make some changes .

P.P.S- I love you .

Signed,

Kiyanna Shakelle Matthews

such a bomb dance routine! i love Sabra!

2008-10-03T00:31:00.001-07:00

a shattered reality...

2008-09-27T20:59:00.000-07:00

I have skeletons in my closet, and this situation is one of them. I honestly wish it was some abnormal revelation like I "used to be a man" or a "I'm really scared of taco's" umm yeah some shit like that...but honestly this shit is really serious. I mean I always tell people how many sibilings I have...but I guess I excluded this "one" because I wanted to ,"forget him", I wanted him to disappear, I guess I only wanted one brother, not "two." No scratch the " " (quotation) he is my real biological brother who will actually be 27 years old when he is released from prison this December.FYI- Do not comment asking any noisy bullshit questions like what did he do, or some crap like that because in reality that shit really doesn't matter. The thing that matters the most is that I have lied, for about 5 years now, about not having this older brother. The reason I lied was because I was scared of what people would think of me!... (damn, fucking insercurites) Even though he is in prison, he will be getting out soon... and that's what so shocking. Man idk, I'm in utter disbelief right now because the person I tried to forget is going to become apart of my life once again. That's some crazy ass shit . Alot`s on my mind. Like how in the world will I ever fully forgive him, and why is it easier to forget then forgive? Fuccck. People think I'm mean for no reason, they also think that I use curse words for no apparent reason, but if you had lived through half of the things I have you would be a lot more disturbed then me. So people's perceptions of me sort of used to piss me off, I honestly think my attitude alters so much because I am fighting "inner demons". Music is my escape, but how far can music really take you?
Public Service Announcement
So I'm like where do I go from here? How do I fully except the actions of a sibiling who broke my family apart? I really don't know, but I do have to except the fact that everyone is not perfect...but why do I feel like my life is so fucked up? I have the tendency to push people away. The boyfriend I do have is perfect in many ways and would do anything for me, but why do I feel like I'm pushing him away? Like why is the fact that "my brother" is getting out of prison affecting me so horribly?! My sanity is gone, and has been replaced by an erutption of grief inside of me. I'm so scared...I guess the question is who am I'm living for? And can I endure anymore?! This is not who I want to be, I really don't want to be afraid anymore, I'm tired of being scared of what people will think of me. Can the actions of one person really fracture the overall perception of an entire, unit, group, or family? Hmmm idk..

I'm scared...where is sanity when you need it?!!

Why the fuck don't we have the ability to change the hands of time?! Fuuuuuuuck!

bomb boots- man...

2008-09-27T17:27:00.000-07:00

so Rihanna who never seizes to amaze me had on some bomb ass boots during the Milan Fashion Week, reported by theybf.com ! Neee whoooo man, her freaking boots are bomb, they are like so fierce...I just love how she took this simple looking black dress and dressed it up with these bombass boats, I seriously need to find out who they are by...even though I'll never be able to afford them, those are some bombass boats man!

Rihanna I bow to you....lol

BTW- what do you guys think of her BOOTS??!

ummm....lil waye caught by crips in L.A...ahahaha...wow!

2008-09-05T22:13:00.000-07:00

these niggas are going hard....smh....WOW!!!

grrrrr

2008-09-05T21:47:00.001-07:00

aaaaarrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

=(

busted lip, bleeding finger, and blistered toe...

2008-08-31T16:50:00.000-07:00

i am totally starting to believe that my apartment is trying to kill me...

hahhaa jk

:'(

but these accidents just keep occuring...

sigh...sniffles...

my finger has not stop bleeding from early early this morning, and my lip burns!

aarrrrgggghhhh

on another note, I want some ribs..lol

ASIAN`S ARE FREAKS I TELL YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-29T23:56:00.000-07:00

Christian Keyes... :-)

2008-08-25T18:52:00.000-07:00

Keri Hilson`s Energy Video

awww how cute...

2008-08-25T18:41:00.000-07:00

lol the kitchen.....

2008-08-20T22:42:00.001-07:00

one long ass blog lol

2008-08-18T22:55:00.000-07:00

*caution some things mentioned in this blog are from random thoughts, which reflected a certain moment in time in my life.* it may not be a permanent or lasting impression that I have, so I guess that's it...enjoy ! :-)

August 5th...
Its really been awhile since I've actually sat in my notes section on my sidekick and actually collected my thoughts, sat down and put them together in a blog. Let me start off by saying that God is good, all the time he is GOOD! I was raised Baptist, always will be Baptist, I love God and I do not think I give him enough praise, so there it is. I have a lot of concerns in life you know. I've started to notice I'm not as confident as I perceive to be. I often find myself liking myself one day and hating myself the next, unknowingly speaking that "young women" or girls feel this way everyday...I often find myself comparing and wishing I looked like certain individuals, I just feel so caught up on the outer beauty, I mean Los Angeles will do that to you, because no one likes an ugly girl you know...basically I'm on a race to find myself and to become more content with myself, because I am not happy in my skin...I am becoming more secure with myself now, (2008) but middle school I could not even glance at the mirror. I used to literally "hide" in my room.I felt so numb you know. I think I live my life according to others instead of myself and that is one major problem I need to break. Although college is my choice and somewhere I want to be, I want to be out of state so bad, but I made the choice to stay in California because of my older sisters advice. I wish I could spread my wings and fly, because my life is so fucccking boring. Same shit different day, like work...sleep...work...sleep, one boring as summer you know...(except for the outings I have with my girls...SHOUT OUTS TO BETH, ARI, DORITO, AND EVERY OTHER NEW FRIEND I HAVE WHO I ADORE TO BE AROUND) it is substantially clear that I really have no social life, don't do too much. All in all I just wish I could gain more confidence and more courage, I wish I could get some courage from a magical Wizard like The Lion from the WIZARD OF OZ...shit stuff aient that damn simple. (Highkey I wish my update for my damn phone would come, I want to record stuff and shit.) Lol

August 6th
"On another note, I can take another vaca"...jay-z...DEAR SummeR...ahahahahaha

So my school is so gay they could not offer me a dorm, because they were full and I applied late, whatever fuck you UC MERCED! Kiss my yellow-ass ! Any how, it was hard to cope with the fact that I did not get a dorm, more stress placed upon my life, especially since I do not drive, even more fugged up ! So eventually I found an apartment and I will be living with my friend Elizabeth is a 2 bed 2 bath apartment, somewhere near our school. She is truly a blessing and I'm glad she had my back, pretty gr8 individual, so anyway that is that. I'm happy to have a place to lay my head, and be content and reside, something to call my own! Yay! I realized that I eat a lot, and I never ever get on a scale and weigh myself, I need to do that sometime. I also think the things I consume trigger my stomach in the wrong way because I've been having to poop a lot.

August 7th
I can't believe summer is almost over, I have to go back to Merced, the 20th of August and I'm kind of freaking out about the whole thing you know because I like L.A. way better than Merced, but whomp my ass is not really trying transfer, so I will be good I guess...Unless I can transfer to LMU...I really like that school a lot, I should look into that. Yeah I think I mite transfer to LMU because I do really like that school u know....its really nice...but I don't know about the "psych" major being an important and big @ that school...hmmm...contradicting, yes I know...Then I can believe its over, I mean I have not done too much but I've done and seen enough here. Lost a best friend, gained a good friend, cut my hair, laughed at people on facebook..and read some blogs that were pretty damn interesting, and then the rather bland, boring, bitch your whole life is made up blogs...I fucking hate those!

Any who, people keep it real, don't try to cover up your life with lies and shit, its really not "cute". Boys are like tripping out this summer, I have been thru a couple of roller coaster rides this summer...I think if I just ignore them they will leave me alone...like wtf is there problems, and why are they so difficult.(FYI-I HATE FUCKING WAITING AND SHIT...) Random? Yes, but I'm just saying, do not talk to me and play games and have me waiting and stuff, its irritating, just leave me alone. (I may not feel this way tomorrow, but tonight I do.) Anyway yeah I'm just over everything, I do not want a boyfriend anymore, I just want to be left alone you know. I'm just going to do me. That's all I know how to do anyway! So yeeeeeeeeeah uh huuuuuuh....I think I'm ready to just be with someone serious and exclusive, not trying to play these dumbass mind games and shit, like is the purpose of them anyway??! So in the midst of all the boy madness I find myself eating m&m`s on my 15 minute break @ work...(August 8th). I never realized how good brown peanut m&m`s are. Today my job wanted me to come in @ 10, but they did not have my number. So they told Ariana to aim me and tell me . Like wtf, when I'm sleep my phone is on silent, you can't rely on an aim to get to me . Smh...loosers! So I ended up coming in @ 1130am and I'm getting off @ 730, woohooo I can't wait, I am so tired, and plus today was payday, I just want to go zzzzzzz` and maybe shop . I have not been to the mall in a while, whomp well watever...lol I really like Farnsworth Bentleys new video, with Kanye and Andre 3000! I freaking love Andre, dude is so dope ! He has style for days, man o man! Go Andre! Lol the videos dope because they are all doing this robotic, weird two-step looking dance and it really makes me laugh seeing KANYE, because he really be thinking he be getting it ! Lol (Kanye should not dance by the way.) It just is not his thing you know...smh...lol

So I just walked up a lot of stairs, and I'm tired, and I am so out of shape...smh...but whomp whatever, I need to get into shape, maybe start working out or something...I am too darn lazy I really need to drink milk too, my bones are like super weak and crap, sometimes I can even feel them crack...ahaaaahaha but that's a whole other story in its self...

August 9th-yay I went to Target and got some plastic containers to store my clothes in because I have to go back to school in like two weeks or whatnot, wow how time flies, I love target dude! There bargains and cheap prices rock my socks off I swear...I was supposed to hang out with my best friend Ryan today, but when he aimed me, I was acting really weird and siddity, and upset, which was because I was hot, sleepy, and felt like I had not accomplished shi*t. I realize I have a ton of issues..but watever...I'm really surprised I have friends who tolerate me, because I am totally out of this world I mean seriously...I watched a little bit of the Olympics, I like the sports and the competition and seeing the Russians kick our ass in some of these sports... my favorite sport in the Olympics is Womens Gymnastics, I used to want to be a gymnist so bad when I was little! When I lived in Van Nuys, there was this place called Gymnastics World, and it used to train kids, teens, and young adults gymnastics...I remember I used to pass by the place and stare into the place and watch in amazement as the little girls did flips, and cart wheels, and flipped off the balance beam...it was purely amazing to me. I still want to be a gymnast to this day...I mean seriously I wanted it so bad, and I guess I still do, my mom could never afford to get me the lessons, and I could understand because they were pretty expensive for a single mother, but watever...we can't have everything we want you know...hmmmph...life is a trip...yaaawn! So man all in all if I could`ve taken my Gymnastic lessons there is no telling where I might be today...lol

August 10th- I ate mcdonalds for lunch today...it was gd..
I hate boys! Likey think life revolves around them, and that people should call off work just because they want to do something. Like my main priority is working, how could you be so selfish and ask me to call of? Why can't you ever plan something for the two of us on a day when I don`t work. Why??! Daaamn! U piss me off...I cannot stand your selfishness I really can`t! You don't care about me or love me, all that shit is a fucking lie! Ugh! The nerve of some people...never again I fucking swear!

August 12th- So basically I was off work today, and I hung out with Deresha aka Lil Annie all damn day. She gave me medication I gave her laughter and stories about life, love, and sex shops, and hot managers of sex shops...lol it was cool talking to her...she'll always be my best friend...love you Dorito! LIL ANNIE!! Hehe

August 13th-so I'm takin a dump @ work, everyone knows the airport bathrooms be busy, well its a stinker, and its a whole lot of women in the bathroom...ahahaha WHOMPY-WHOMPERS! I am disgusting, but yeah I'm stinking up the bathroom, so what!!!! Ugh, I'm not eating nothing else today, I feel like crap...ha! So I went out with a good friend of mine and we ended up going to the Cheesecake factory...good times...shared some laughs, got mad @ each other, and drank some sour ass sweet ass weird ass strawberry lemonade, it was way too sweet! Never realized how much I care and love hanging out with that individual, and I'm glad that we met up...it was cool! I really enjoyed myself...lol oh and your new phone does not have BET! Looser!

August 15th- Today I passed my driving test! Woohoo ! I have a license...but on a bad note, the DMV is really going through a tough time, I mean seriously ! My appointment was set at Hawthorne but when I got there the parking lot was empty...and I was like wtf, something is not right, this place is always crowded, so I put two and two together with the help of the security guard that the employees had scheduled a walk out. I was mad but not mad enough to give up. So I went to INGLEWOOD and took it and passed! Woohooo

August 18th- I'm currently watching The Hills, and I have to go back to school in the morning...ugh! I'm lowkey sad but I'm kind of excited, I have my own apartment and stuff. But its like whomp...whomp...whatever....I'm really upset at the fact that Lo is such a bitch! Like what is your point...why can`t you get along with Audrina??! Wtf did she do to you?! Honestly I love this show but why is Lo so damn dramatic?! Like calm your ass down girl...smh..
I'm sleepy, today was fun...I like going to Target ! Lol uhhh okay I'm sleepy, Weeds comes on @ 11, man I love that show it is so damn funny...like seriously...lmfao like why is Celia on drugs?! And why is Andy in love with a mexican lady named Maria?! Lmfao..I've often wondered what the hell is Mariah Carey`s purpose?! She is annoying forreal..why did she marry Nick Cannon, and why doesn't Nick Cannon do anymore acting?! Ugh! Man I need a car.lol anyway I guess I'm done with this longass blog...Ryan H, you suck ass I aimed your ass, no answer fine you weirdo! Yoooou can lick my BALLLLLLLLSSSS!!

BTW- I`m going to fax your scarf Ari I promise!! Lol

P.S. I have a crush on Andre 3000

2008-07-29T23:09:00.000-07:00

ha!

i love this video, there choreography is so slick and unique..

kanye cracks me up...

man i love this song !

Go guyyyyS!! hooray!!

hehehe

EVERYBODY - FARNSWORTH BENTLEY FEAT KANYE WEST, ANDRE 3000 & SA-RA

itchy kneeee

2008-07-23T00:07:00.000-07:00

so my knee is itchy, and sumthn bit me on it...

uhhhh shout out to rjeezzzzzzy h bottom, damn cuhz got a blog!

luv ya Relative...

hahhahhaahaah!!! mwahahahahahahha

Case- Im missing you...

2008-07-04T00:07:00.000-07:00

nothing's sexier than a man that can sing, and express their feelings....

=]

btw- I am so in love with this song! i replay it on my ipod like all day everyday...

bitches love smiley faces..ahhaaha

2008-07-01T02:16:00.000-07:00

Sidekicks=nigga technology.
And anything a nigga ever typed with his thumbs has NEVER been important!

I sent that bitch a smiley face! Bitches love smiley faces...

OmG-G !! I fuggn love the Boondocks! That shit is hilarious!

:-)

Cuz bitches do love smiley faces...lmfao

just leave me be . my feelings are undescribable .

2008-06-28T23:16:00.000-07:00

Its crazy how attitudes can just change from one moment to the next. How you can be so happy and content, and then your personality and every ounce of being just changes to some sort of negativity. I just feel so empty and hollow. I'm actually at Chilli`s right now with my older sister, cousins, and other folk and I just feel like a sad and pathetic mess. I feel really, really alone. I dnt know if I want to be here or not. Its really strange. I just dnt feel like I belong. I'm really tired and just want to go to sleep and wake up and go to my slave shift at work in the morn. I'm annoyed and at an upmost drill with all kinds of very harsh and bad feelings. In essence I believe I'm upset because I'm tired, or maybe its becuz I cnt relate to the people I'm sittin at this table with. Family or not, these uncontrollable strange feelings are makin me sick to my stomach. Ugggh this feeling is unexplainable. Maybe its because lately I've been feeling ignored by certain individuals I thought cared about me, or maybe I just need a break from it all . Watever my head hurts and I'm sittin in the car in parking lot smh . *big sigh* grrrr!
Or maybe it`s Kiy being selfish again....

One missed call from = Kiyanna

for all my dumb nigga and bitch "friends". throw urself away! seriously!: dumbass people!

2008-06-28T21:07:00.000-07:00

You know what pisses me the fuck off! And I do mean the FUCK OFF is when I have friends who continue to go back to trifiling, cheating ass NIGGAS OR BITCHES ! I mean I am so very tired of giving advice to dumbass people who don`t listen. I mean how many times do we have to repeat the same line, or rephrase this rule of engagement which states once a cheater, always a DAMN CHEATER! The thing that pisses me off is that these individuals feel like they are nothing and will never be anyone without this person by there side, and essences blinds individuals from seeing there full potential. I guess what I am trying to say is your too damn young to be holding onto someone who is treating you like trash, fucking other bitches or nigga`s or even trying to talk to ur friends, which in this case: (yessssss that nigga tried to talk to me, and failed) ! My point is I'm never giving advice to dumbass people anymore, if you think this is about you, and you get all sensitive while reading this I really don't care, because in the end, your truly hurting urself and bringing yourself down. Why do people insist on trying to wife and marry every damn individual they encounter, like stfu nigga, u only 19. Do I look stoopid or sumthn, I know I'm not marrying you! From this day forward, I am not giving relationship advice to individuals who love to get cheated on and think they are going to be with someone they've only been dating for three days 4EVER! I am so tired of dirty ass cheaters, I dnt give a fuuuck anymore! This is officially the fuck cheaters post, cuz they really got the game fucked up! Yesss I did say game! Cuz I feel like ppl shuld throw there dumbasses in the trash if they continue to be with cheating ass people. It just makes no type of damn sense. I am so dumb for trying to give advice to dumbass people and there stoopid ass problems, to put it simply, no one ever tell me about there fucking issues again. I swear u can be dumb all alone. I have like zero time and tolerance for stoopid idiots who try to hold onto garbage! Grr!

it is hot!

2008-06-20T17:58:00.001-07:00

im sweating...

Searching for SOMETHING...

2008-06-08T00:13:00.000-07:00

As a female, the most powerful sex on the planet it gets pretty lonely up at the top ! Yesterday and today had to have been the most boring and irritating days of my life. Yesterday I got into it with an (EX) of mine, mind you I dnt have many of those, becuz simply I have no time for immature boys who act like they bleed every month just like me . Basically he told me I would never find anyone to treat me better than him, I was dumb, and I could never find anyone better than him, which pissed me off but for some odd reason I felt that way and I did not know how to rebutal back. I felt so insecure and angry @ what he lashed at me about and I was completly speechless, and for some odd reason he convinced me of every word he said. I felt alone and trapped becuz honestly I did not have anyone to tell and run too.What I'm trying to say is I wish I had that one individual I could tell everything too without shame or redicule. I wish I had someone in my life that I could lay in a bed with on my back and just tell them everything. I mean no weird (homo) stuff @ all (no offense to any1) but I just wish I had someone in my life I could tell everything to and they still love and care for me all the same 4ever. My friend Lee called me and made me feel 200% better, and I often wonder if he is that person I can tell everything too, but things still remain the same, and I get confused. :-/ I love him mucho for his advice because I mean if he hadn't called me I probably would have been doing major damage to my ex`s car . Smh (a black woman scorned) ! But honestly I just want to find my guy best friend . Even though I have them, they are not very realistic and they are not very interested in my life, which explains why I have very few friends now. I wish I just had a friend I could run and jump into their arms and I know they will always catch me you know. Like a roadie, that I can go all over L.A. with waste that 10 dollar a gallon gas and refill and just keep going without a care . I need a close and stable guy friend in my life. Someone I can learn share my stories of love, laughter, and even those dramactic occurances. In the end I know this person will always have my back. Friendships are hard to find. I just feel like I'm missing something in my life. Hmm maybe I'm tripping becuz I'm lonely! Lalalalaalala!

Watever...I guess . lol

:-/

mmm, mmmm, LIL ROMEO!! =]

2008-06-05T18:23:00.000-07:00

so i think he is soooper hot! not on ne type of Gold-digger weird, random, bs, he is really attractive man! goooo ahead ROMEO!! he GROWN! lol

Amirrah and Jaylen's Escapades ! They r naughty children!

2008-05-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

Flashing Lights PART 3...

2008-05-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

1st real job...chhheeea! =]

2008-05-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

I got my first job and i'm excited i cnt wait till i start working, so i can have real hard earned money that belongs to me!! yesss ! lol 9.71/ an hour sounds pretty darn satisfying to me!

yumm...yumm...hehe!

=]

Lee does strange things for pieces of change.

2008-05-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have a boo named Lee (yeah that's short for something else lol). And the reason he is my boo is because I like him and he likes me too, but we are taking things slow because who starts relationships in the summer???! Oh and another reason is because he decided to stay in Merdead and take summer school, and another reason is because I dnt think we know enuff about each other to really start something so serious. But anyway I'm writing this blog because he started complaining about how he thinks my blog is boring because I have never mentioned him in my blog. So here it is SIR! Your own entry. Lol soooo I guess wat I have to say is LEE ur a really smart, nice, and loving person, and anyone who has the privelage of meeting you and being a apart of your life should really be honored to meet ur acquaintence. Basically what I am trying to say is I feel like our friendship is everlasting, and I really think ur thee coolest person ever...And with that said you do strange things for a piece of change...lmfao hahhaa :-)

Btw-half the time when I'm mad at you really don't know, cuz I dnt tell you. And the days that I'm not mad you think I'm mad. So with that said I dnt think ull ever know when and why I'm mad...lol hehe!

That's a whole other BLOG!!

The Cabaret Hoover

2008-05-24T19:05:00.000-07:00

i love this style of dancing it is so different and dark...omg!! I loved this performance it was like so static and electrifying...it was a really nice look!!

i love dance man!! =]

puffy has a MOHAWK!!

2008-05-18T22:13:00.001-07:00

Aww my favo cuzzn JAYLEN has a cute little mohawk now...

such a little sticker to say the least!

he looks so cute & puffy!

=]

Melissa Jimenez is BOMB!

2008-05-18T22:08:00.000-07:00

okay so I love the song "feel it in the air" by Beanie Sigel...I mean its just something about the beat and the way words ride out on the song.

the chick featured on the chorus is named Melissa Jimenez and this chick can BLOW!
her voice rides this beat and it flows so nicely...her voice is so bomb to me!

i love this song and I also think Melissa is really..really...pretty !

so just take a listen and scope (who says that shit ne more) her lovely voice! lol

BTW- thanks BEANIE!!

HAPPY BURFDAY GRANNY NETTIE AKA BABYGIRL!

2008-05-17T22:06:00.000-07:00

I LOVE YOU!& I miss you so much!!!

R.I.P

EWW WHY MACY??

2008-05-16T20:16:00.001-07:00

omg!! she needs NOT to ever do that again...

yuck!

(brought to you by bossip!)

ugh her nasty DRUNKASS!!

so these boys think they are girls?? alrite...

2008-05-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

Brawl at Locke High School, is it racial tension or gang violence??

2008-05-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

OVER 600 KIDS INVOLVED IN A BRAWL AT LOCKE HIGH SCHOOL...

wow I have no words for this school and the violence that occured there...

wtf does shit always have to do with blks and hispanics and GANGS..

all this MESS just really needs to Stop!

HIGH SCHOOL'S ARE GETTING WORSE AND WORSE...

Rick Ross is SEXY!

2008-05-15T17:36:00.000-07:00

brought to you by bossip! lmfao

yeeeeah buddy! ;-]

Keisha Chante, a canadian singer, picked to play the role of Aaliyah !

2008-05-15T17:04:00.000-07:00

okay so when I saw this girl on bossip I said thank GOD! Becuz not only had they picked some dirty video girl to play Aaliyah awhile back, when I heard the news I got disappointed like eww u cnt find ne one else! *jeez* but...

ne whoo to make a long story short, it has taken them a minute to find someone to play Aaliyah to not only give her justice, but also a young lady that resembles Aaliyah @ the same time...they had even had their eyes on Megan Goode for a minute, and although I think Megan Goode is very pretty she culd never, ever compare to the late gr8 BABYGIRL!!

check out these flicks of Keshia Chante and Megan...ha ! (whomp for Megan!) but she does look very cute in these pics ! =]