I really have no clue what I want to do...

Before I began typing I told myself I wouldn't write a sad soppy blog. I told myself that it would just be a brief overview of how I've been feeling lately but its been so many different emotions IDK how to venture into all of them. So with that said I will talk to you what has been heavy on my mind. Well SCHOOL is #1, for some reason I don't know what I want to do, I just know I want to be DONE! Uhhh, for those of you who don't know me well I attended the University of California, Merced. Which is a UC as big as schools get! So I completed 2 years, it was a struggle, but I made it and in the midst of it all I decide to take a year off to deal with a family issue and clear my head. I actually have been doing pretty well in Los Angeles, I'm @ a local community college excelling and working. But I know I can't stay at a CC forever. I looked at my journey from high school to college and I have found that I have come an extremely long way. And I even looked at how unhappy I was in Merced and how I felt alone all the time and like I was missing out on the essential college atmosphere and I really shake my head...like what was I thinking? Sometimes you just got to swallow your pride and just endure, but my selfishness lead me to where I am right now. And that's with one of the hardest decisions I ever have to make. Do I step back and attend a Cal State or go back to a school that I was unhappy at but will gain so much more from...I mean a new school, a new legacy, and more one on one attention with professors, but the town...ehh its so damn boring. I guess that gives you more time to study but sometimes it gets extremely hard to study...On the inside my heart is telling me to return to UCM but my mind is saying be realistic and go somewhere close to home that has a broader horizon and more of the "campus life" I've been longing for...I shall talk to counselors from both UCM and whatever Cal State I decide on and go from there. Being home has also made me miss all my friends at UCM which also sucks, I get really sad and crawl up in a ball sometimes because it gets that hard for me sometimes. But all in all what do you, blogger world think I should do? Hmm..just think about it this way, go back to an institution that can possibly get me a better job when I graduate UCM, or go to a brand new atmosphere with a "real college experience" that may be slightly easier and possibly make me happier? idk until next time my fellow bloggers, feel free to comment! :) thnks!