i am totally starting to believe that my apartment is trying to kill me...
hahhaa jk
:'(
but these accidents just keep occuring...
sigh...sniffles...
my finger has not stop bleeding from early early this morning, and my lip burns!
aarrrrgggghhhh
on another note, I want some ribs..lol
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
one long ass blog lol
*caution some things mentioned in this blog are from random thoughts, which reflected a certain moment in time in my life.* it may not be a permanent or lasting impression that I have, so I guess that's it...enjoy ! :-)
August 5th...
Its really been awhile since I've actually sat in my notes section on my sidekick and actually collected my thoughts, sat down and put them together in a blog. Let me start off by saying that God is good, all the time he is GOOD! I was raised Baptist, always will be Baptist, I love God and I do not think I give him enough praise, so there it is. I have a lot of concerns in life you know. I've started to notice I'm not as confident as I perceive to be. I often find myself liking myself one day and hating myself the next, unknowingly speaking that "young women" or girls feel this way everyday...I often find myself comparing and wishing I looked like certain individuals, I just feel so caught up on the outer beauty, I mean Los Angeles will do that to you, because no one likes an ugly girl you know...basically I'm on a race to find myself and to become more content with myself, because I am not happy in my skin...I am becoming more secure with myself now, (2008) but middle school I could not even glance at the mirror. I used to literally "hide" in my room.I felt so numb you know. I think I live my life according to others instead of myself and that is one major problem I need to break. Although college is my choice and somewhere I want to be, I want to be out of state so bad, but I made the choice to stay in California because of my older sisters advice. I wish I could spread my wings and fly, because my life is so fucccking boring. Same shit different day, like work...sleep...work...sleep, one boring as summer you know...(except for the outings I have with my girls...SHOUT OUTS TO BETH, ARI, DORITO, AND EVERY OTHER NEW FRIEND I HAVE WHO I ADORE TO BE AROUND) it is substantially clear that I really have no social life, don't do too much. All in all I just wish I could gain more confidence and more courage, I wish I could get some courage from a magical Wizard like The Lion from the WIZARD OF OZ...shit stuff aient that damn simple. (Highkey I wish my update for my damn phone would come, I want to record stuff and shit.) Lol
August 6th
"On another note, I can take another vaca"...jay-z...DEAR SummeR...ahahahahaha
So my school is so gay they could not offer me a dorm, because they were full and I applied late, whatever fuck you UC MERCED! Kiss my yellow-ass ! Any how, it was hard to cope with the fact that I did not get a dorm, more stress placed upon my life, especially since I do not drive, even more fugged up ! So eventually I found an apartment and I will be living with my friend Elizabeth is a 2 bed 2 bath apartment, somewhere near our school. She is truly a blessing and I'm glad she had my back, pretty gr8 individual, so anyway that is that. I'm happy to have a place to lay my head, and be content and reside, something to call my own! Yay! I realized that I eat a lot, and I never ever get on a scale and weigh myself, I need to do that sometime. I also think the things I consume trigger my stomach in the wrong way because I've been having to poop a lot.
August 7th
I can't believe summer is almost over, I have to go back to Merced, the 20th of August and I'm kind of freaking out about the whole thing you know because I like L.A. way better than Merced, but whomp my ass is not really trying transfer, so I will be good I guess...Unless I can transfer to LMU...I really like that school a lot, I should look into that. Yeah I think I mite transfer to LMU because I do really like that school u know....its really nice...but I don't know about the "psych" major being an important and big @ that school...hmmm...contradicting, yes I know...Then I can believe its over, I mean I have not done too much but I've done and seen enough here. Lost a best friend, gained a good friend, cut my hair, laughed at people on facebook..and read some blogs that were pretty damn interesting, and then the rather bland, boring, bitch your whole life is made up blogs...I fucking hate those!
Any who, people keep it real, don't try to cover up your life with lies and shit, its really not "cute". Boys are like tripping out this summer, I have been thru a couple of roller coaster rides this summer...I think if I just ignore them they will leave me alone...like wtf is there problems, and why are they so difficult.(FYI-I HATE FUCKING WAITING AND SHIT...) Random? Yes, but I'm just saying, do not talk to me and play games and have me waiting and stuff, its irritating, just leave me alone. (I may not feel this way tomorrow, but tonight I do.) Anyway yeah I'm just over everything, I do not want a boyfriend anymore, I just want to be left alone you know. I'm just going to do me. That's all I know how to do anyway! So yeeeeeeeeeah uh huuuuuuh....I think I'm ready to just be with someone serious and exclusive, not trying to play these dumbass mind games and shit, like is the purpose of them anyway??! So in the midst of all the boy madness I find myself eating m&m`s on my 15 minute break @ work...(August 8th). I never realized how good brown peanut m&m`s are. Today my job wanted me to come in @ 10, but they did not have my number. So they told Ariana to aim me and tell me . Like wtf, when I'm sleep my phone is on silent, you can't rely on an aim to get to me . Smh...loosers! So I ended up coming in @ 1130am and I'm getting off @ 730, woohooo I can't wait, I am so tired, and plus today was payday, I just want to go zzzzzzz` and maybe shop . I have not been to the mall in a while, whomp well watever...lol I really like Farnsworth Bentleys new video, with Kanye and Andre 3000! I freaking love Andre, dude is so dope ! He has style for days, man o man! Go Andre! Lol the videos dope because they are all doing this robotic, weird two-step looking dance and it really makes me laugh seeing KANYE, because he really be thinking he be getting it ! Lol (Kanye should not dance by the way.) It just is not his thing you know...smh...lol
So I just walked up a lot of stairs, and I'm tired, and I am so out of shape...smh...but whomp whatever, I need to get into shape, maybe start working out or something...I am too darn lazy I really need to drink milk too, my bones are like super weak and crap, sometimes I can even feel them crack...ahaaaahaha but that's a whole other story in its self...
August 9th-yay I went to Target and got some plastic containers to store my clothes in because I have to go back to school in like two weeks or whatnot, wow how time flies, I love target dude! There bargains and cheap prices rock my socks off I swear...I was supposed to hang out with my best friend Ryan today, but when he aimed me, I was acting really weird and siddity, and upset, which was because I was hot, sleepy, and felt like I had not accomplished shi*t. I realize I have a ton of issues..but watever...I'm really surprised I have friends who tolerate me, because I am totally out of this world I mean seriously...I watched a little bit of the Olympics, I like the sports and the competition and seeing the Russians kick our ass in some of these sports... my favorite sport in the Olympics is Womens Gymnastics, I used to want to be a gymnist so bad when I was little! When I lived in Van Nuys, there was this place called Gymnastics World, and it used to train kids, teens, and young adults gymnastics...I remember I used to pass by the place and stare into the place and watch in amazement as the little girls did flips, and cart wheels, and flipped off the balance beam...it was purely amazing to me. I still want to be a gymnast to this day...I mean seriously I wanted it so bad, and I guess I still do, my mom could never afford to get me the lessons, and I could understand because they were pretty expensive for a single mother, but watever...we can't have everything we want you know...hmmmph...life is a trip...yaaawn! So man all in all if I could`ve taken my Gymnastic lessons there is no telling where I might be today...lol
August 10th- I ate mcdonalds for lunch today...it was gd..
I hate boys! Likey think life revolves around them, and that people should call off work just because they want to do something. Like my main priority is working, how could you be so selfish and ask me to call of? Why can't you ever plan something for the two of us on a day when I don`t work. Why??! Daaamn! U piss me off...I cannot stand your selfishness I really can`t! You don't care about me or love me, all that shit is a fucking lie! Ugh! The nerve of some people...never again I fucking swear!
August 12th- So basically I was off work today, and I hung out with Deresha aka Lil Annie all damn day. She gave me medication I gave her laughter and stories about life, love, and sex shops, and hot managers of sex shops...lol it was cool talking to her...she'll always be my best friend...love you Dorito! LIL ANNIE!! Hehe
August 13th-so I'm takin a dump @ work, everyone knows the airport bathrooms be busy, well its a stinker, and its a whole lot of women in the bathroom...ahahaha WHOMPY-WHOMPERS! I am disgusting, but yeah I'm stinking up the bathroom, so what!!!! Ugh, I'm not eating nothing else today, I feel like crap...ha! So I went out with a good friend of mine and we ended up going to the Cheesecake factory...good times...shared some laughs, got mad @ each other, and drank some sour ass sweet ass weird ass strawberry lemonade, it was way too sweet! Never realized how much I care and love hanging out with that individual, and I'm glad that we met up...it was cool! I really enjoyed myself...lol oh and your new phone does not have BET! Looser!
August 15th- Today I passed my driving test! Woohoo ! I have a license...but on a bad note, the DMV is really going through a tough time, I mean seriously ! My appointment was set at Hawthorne but when I got there the parking lot was empty...and I was like wtf, something is not right, this place is always crowded, so I put two and two together with the help of the security guard that the employees had scheduled a walk out. I was mad but not mad enough to give up. So I went to INGLEWOOD and took it and passed! Woohooo
August 18th- I'm currently watching The Hills, and I have to go back to school in the morning...ugh! I'm lowkey sad but I'm kind of excited, I have my own apartment and stuff. But its like whomp...whomp...whatever....I'm really upset at the fact that Lo is such a bitch! Like what is your point...why can`t you get along with Audrina??! Wtf did she do to you?! Honestly I love this show but why is Lo so damn dramatic?! Like calm your ass down girl...smh..
I'm sleepy, today was fun...I like going to Target ! Lol uhhh okay I'm sleepy, Weeds comes on @ 11, man I love that show it is so damn funny...like seriously...lmfao like why is Celia on drugs?! And why is Andy in love with a mexican lady named Maria?! Lmfao..I've often wondered what the hell is Mariah Carey`s purpose?! She is annoying forreal..why did she marry Nick Cannon, and why doesn't Nick Cannon do anymore acting?! Ugh! Man I need a car.lol anyway I guess I'm done with this longass blog...Ryan H, you suck ass I aimed your ass, no answer fine you weirdo! Yoooou can lick my BALLLLLLLLSSSS!!
BTW- I`m going to fax your scarf Ari I promise!! Lol
August 5th...
Its really been awhile since I've actually sat in my notes section on my sidekick and actually collected my thoughts, sat down and put them together in a blog. Let me start off by saying that God is good, all the time he is GOOD! I was raised Baptist, always will be Baptist, I love God and I do not think I give him enough praise, so there it is. I have a lot of concerns in life you know. I've started to notice I'm not as confident as I perceive to be. I often find myself liking myself one day and hating myself the next, unknowingly speaking that "young women" or girls feel this way everyday...I often find myself comparing and wishing I looked like certain individuals, I just feel so caught up on the outer beauty, I mean Los Angeles will do that to you, because no one likes an ugly girl you know...basically I'm on a race to find myself and to become more content with myself, because I am not happy in my skin...I am becoming more secure with myself now, (2008) but middle school I could not even glance at the mirror. I used to literally "hide" in my room.I felt so numb you know. I think I live my life according to others instead of myself and that is one major problem I need to break. Although college is my choice and somewhere I want to be, I want to be out of state so bad, but I made the choice to stay in California because of my older sisters advice. I wish I could spread my wings and fly, because my life is so fucccking boring. Same shit different day, like work...sleep...work...sleep, one boring as summer you know...(except for the outings I have with my girls...SHOUT OUTS TO BETH, ARI, DORITO, AND EVERY OTHER NEW FRIEND I HAVE WHO I ADORE TO BE AROUND) it is substantially clear that I really have no social life, don't do too much. All in all I just wish I could gain more confidence and more courage, I wish I could get some courage from a magical Wizard like The Lion from the WIZARD OF OZ...shit stuff aient that damn simple. (Highkey I wish my update for my damn phone would come, I want to record stuff and shit.) Lol
August 6th
"On another note, I can take another vaca"...jay-z...DEAR SummeR...ahahahahaha
So my school is so gay they could not offer me a dorm, because they were full and I applied late, whatever fuck you UC MERCED! Kiss my yellow-ass ! Any how, it was hard to cope with the fact that I did not get a dorm, more stress placed upon my life, especially since I do not drive, even more fugged up ! So eventually I found an apartment and I will be living with my friend Elizabeth is a 2 bed 2 bath apartment, somewhere near our school. She is truly a blessing and I'm glad she had my back, pretty gr8 individual, so anyway that is that. I'm happy to have a place to lay my head, and be content and reside, something to call my own! Yay! I realized that I eat a lot, and I never ever get on a scale and weigh myself, I need to do that sometime. I also think the things I consume trigger my stomach in the wrong way because I've been having to poop a lot.
August 7th
I can't believe summer is almost over, I have to go back to Merced, the 20th of August and I'm kind of freaking out about the whole thing you know because I like L.A. way better than Merced, but whomp my ass is not really trying transfer, so I will be good I guess...Unless I can transfer to LMU...I really like that school a lot, I should look into that. Yeah I think I mite transfer to LMU because I do really like that school u know....its really nice...but I don't know about the "psych" major being an important and big @ that school...hmmm...contradicting, yes I know...Then I can believe its over, I mean I have not done too much but I've done and seen enough here. Lost a best friend, gained a good friend, cut my hair, laughed at people on facebook..and read some blogs that were pretty damn interesting, and then the rather bland, boring, bitch your whole life is made up blogs...I fucking hate those!
Any who, people keep it real, don't try to cover up your life with lies and shit, its really not "cute". Boys are like tripping out this summer, I have been thru a couple of roller coaster rides this summer...I think if I just ignore them they will leave me alone...like wtf is there problems, and why are they so difficult.(FYI-I HATE FUCKING WAITING AND SHIT...) Random? Yes, but I'm just saying, do not talk to me and play games and have me waiting and stuff, its irritating, just leave me alone. (I may not feel this way tomorrow, but tonight I do.) Anyway yeah I'm just over everything, I do not want a boyfriend anymore, I just want to be left alone you know. I'm just going to do me. That's all I know how to do anyway! So yeeeeeeeeeah uh huuuuuuh....I think I'm ready to just be with someone serious and exclusive, not trying to play these dumbass mind games and shit, like is the purpose of them anyway??! So in the midst of all the boy madness I find myself eating m&m`s on my 15 minute break @ work...(August 8th). I never realized how good brown peanut m&m`s are. Today my job wanted me to come in @ 10, but they did not have my number. So they told Ariana to aim me and tell me . Like wtf, when I'm sleep my phone is on silent, you can't rely on an aim to get to me . Smh...loosers! So I ended up coming in @ 1130am and I'm getting off @ 730, woohooo I can't wait, I am so tired, and plus today was payday, I just want to go zzzzzzz` and maybe shop . I have not been to the mall in a while, whomp well watever...lol I really like Farnsworth Bentleys new video, with Kanye and Andre 3000! I freaking love Andre, dude is so dope ! He has style for days, man o man! Go Andre! Lol the videos dope because they are all doing this robotic, weird two-step looking dance and it really makes me laugh seeing KANYE, because he really be thinking he be getting it ! Lol (Kanye should not dance by the way.) It just is not his thing you know...smh...lol
So I just walked up a lot of stairs, and I'm tired, and I am so out of shape...smh...but whomp whatever, I need to get into shape, maybe start working out or something...I am too darn lazy I really need to drink milk too, my bones are like super weak and crap, sometimes I can even feel them crack...ahaaaahaha but that's a whole other story in its self...
August 9th-yay I went to Target and got some plastic containers to store my clothes in because I have to go back to school in like two weeks or whatnot, wow how time flies, I love target dude! There bargains and cheap prices rock my socks off I swear...I was supposed to hang out with my best friend Ryan today, but when he aimed me, I was acting really weird and siddity, and upset, which was because I was hot, sleepy, and felt like I had not accomplished shi*t. I realize I have a ton of issues..but watever...I'm really surprised I have friends who tolerate me, because I am totally out of this world I mean seriously...I watched a little bit of the Olympics, I like the sports and the competition and seeing the Russians kick our ass in some of these sports... my favorite sport in the Olympics is Womens Gymnastics, I used to want to be a gymnist so bad when I was little! When I lived in Van Nuys, there was this place called Gymnastics World, and it used to train kids, teens, and young adults gymnastics...I remember I used to pass by the place and stare into the place and watch in amazement as the little girls did flips, and cart wheels, and flipped off the balance beam...it was purely amazing to me. I still want to be a gymnast to this day...I mean seriously I wanted it so bad, and I guess I still do, my mom could never afford to get me the lessons, and I could understand because they were pretty expensive for a single mother, but watever...we can't have everything we want you know...hmmmph...life is a trip...yaaawn! So man all in all if I could`ve taken my Gymnastic lessons there is no telling where I might be today...lol
August 10th- I ate mcdonalds for lunch today...it was gd..
I hate boys! Likey think life revolves around them, and that people should call off work just because they want to do something. Like my main priority is working, how could you be so selfish and ask me to call of? Why can't you ever plan something for the two of us on a day when I don`t work. Why??! Daaamn! U piss me off...I cannot stand your selfishness I really can`t! You don't care about me or love me, all that shit is a fucking lie! Ugh! The nerve of some people...never again I fucking swear!
August 12th- So basically I was off work today, and I hung out with Deresha aka Lil Annie all damn day. She gave me medication I gave her laughter and stories about life, love, and sex shops, and hot managers of sex shops...lol it was cool talking to her...she'll always be my best friend...love you Dorito! LIL ANNIE!! Hehe
August 13th-so I'm takin a dump @ work, everyone knows the airport bathrooms be busy, well its a stinker, and its a whole lot of women in the bathroom...ahahaha WHOMPY-WHOMPERS! I am disgusting, but yeah I'm stinking up the bathroom, so what!!!! Ugh, I'm not eating nothing else today, I feel like crap...ha! So I went out with a good friend of mine and we ended up going to the Cheesecake factory...good times...shared some laughs, got mad @ each other, and drank some sour ass sweet ass weird ass strawberry lemonade, it was way too sweet! Never realized how much I care and love hanging out with that individual, and I'm glad that we met up...it was cool! I really enjoyed myself...lol oh and your new phone does not have BET! Looser!
August 15th- Today I passed my driving test! Woohoo ! I have a license...but on a bad note, the DMV is really going through a tough time, I mean seriously ! My appointment was set at Hawthorne but when I got there the parking lot was empty...and I was like wtf, something is not right, this place is always crowded, so I put two and two together with the help of the security guard that the employees had scheduled a walk out. I was mad but not mad enough to give up. So I went to INGLEWOOD and took it and passed! Woohooo
August 18th- I'm currently watching The Hills, and I have to go back to school in the morning...ugh! I'm lowkey sad but I'm kind of excited, I have my own apartment and stuff. But its like whomp...whomp...whatever....I'm really upset at the fact that Lo is such a bitch! Like what is your point...why can`t you get along with Audrina??! Wtf did she do to you?! Honestly I love this show but why is Lo so damn dramatic?! Like calm your ass down girl...smh..
I'm sleepy, today was fun...I like going to Target ! Lol uhhh okay I'm sleepy, Weeds comes on @ 11, man I love that show it is so damn funny...like seriously...lmfao like why is Celia on drugs?! And why is Andy in love with a mexican lady named Maria?! Lmfao..I've often wondered what the hell is Mariah Carey`s purpose?! She is annoying forreal..why did she marry Nick Cannon, and why doesn't Nick Cannon do anymore acting?! Ugh! Man I need a car.lol anyway I guess I'm done with this longass blog...Ryan H, you suck ass I aimed your ass, no answer fine you weirdo! Yoooou can lick my BALLLLLLLLSSSS!!
BTW- I`m going to fax your scarf Ari I promise!! Lol
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